Saturday, January 1, 2011

Visiting speaching

My visiting teacher just dropped by as I was cleaning the basement and putting away the tree.  Filthy and unshowered I answered the door.  I haven't seen her since...summer maybe?  I wasn't even sure she was still my VT since I never go.  (I'm sure they've reassigned my route to someone a little more active.)  She handed me a crocheted dishcloth and wished me a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  Then she looked into my eyes and said, "I really miss you.  I hope I haven't said anything to offend you."  Because, you know, one remark from her would surely make me lose my faith and cut myself free from the only lifestyle I've ever known.

We used to color each other's hair for a while, bonding over premature grayness and that fact that we both have gay sons.  But her son, unlike mine, served a mission and is determined to marry in the temple and live a "righteous" life.  She is so proud of him for that.  As I distanced myself from all things church related, I stopped returning her calls.  It really was nothing personal.  I just couldn't take hearing all that over and over. The research I've done and the people I've met this past year have emphasized to me that those situations rarely turn out well.  Why would she wish this on her son and on some unsuspecting woman?  What about any children they might have?

She once told me she has know since her son was very small that he was gay.  I wonder how she reconciles this with Packer's talk?  Because, you know, he wasn't BORN gay so something must have happened to him while he was learning to walk that made him that way.  I guess I could call her and invite her to lunch to talk about it.  But I really just don't have the stomach for it.  Maybe I'll just ask her next time she the summer.


  1. Oooooooh ewwwww, yep, your VT's son is doomed if he tries to force himself to live a hetero life as a gay man. There is so much wrong with the lds church's thinking on homosexuality that i cannot even begin to scrape the surface of it. I don't know how old Boyd KKK sleeps at night (with me throwing rocks at his window and all).

    I'm glad i found your blog; can't wait to read more.


  2. Yikes. It's funny how I'm always surprised to see real evidence of the belief in those stereotypes about "apostates," you know, that they left because they were offended or wanted to sin. Obviously it would be impossible for someone to continue to truly believe in the church if they thought there were legitimate reasons for leaving, so I guess it's a form of self-preservation. Still, it's just so nonsensical, to have an approved list of reasons people quit this religion, all of them the fault of the so-called apostate. *sigh*

  3. Hey, Sandi, I'd love to come throw rocks with you one night! I'll bet it's cathartic. And thanks for visiting my blog. Hope it's not too stinky.

    Carla, I haven't told anyone in the ward why I have left so I guess I can't blame them. It really has shown me who are my real friends and who were just my friends because they were supposed to be. Maybe someday I'll care enough to set them straight.