Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Can't miss what you ain't never had

Just chillin' in the break room the other night, one of the young guys on break was taking a quiz in a magazine. "Hey, Zena, can I ask you an inappropriate question?  Would you rather be tall and have a small penis or be short and have a really big one?" 

Well, knock me over with a dildo.  That was quite unexpected and took some thinking.  Never having had a penis, I really couldn't  care less if it was big or not.  But being short, well, I think that would suck.  So I voted for tall with a wee wang.  But apparently about 75% of men chose the other option.  Huh. 

Now where was I going with this?  Um...oh yeah.  Obviously you can't miss what you've never had.  And men are really obsessed with their whangdoodles starting from an early age

But back to where I was going with can't miss what you've never had.  And everyone has their own "normal".  For example, I love watching the short people at work jump and stretch and try in vain to reach something on a shelf until I casually lean over and effortlessly grab it.  Sometimes I dangle it over their heads to taunt them.  Makes my day.  Take that away from me by suddenly  making me short and I think I'd get an inferiority conplex.  My reality would be shaken.  The very paradigm of my life would be horrifically shifted. 

So I guess the point of this post is, I don't wanna be a short guy with a big dick.  I've got enough to deal with right now.  You know, mid-life crisis, loss of faith, all that shit.  But I wouldn't mind a visit from the boob fairy.  She shorted me the first time around.


  1. I'm still trying to recover from CD's comment about the worm crawling out of Adam's crotch...

  2. O Zena I have loved reading your blog!!! Makes my day!

  3. So, did you get reported to Blogger or something? I have to click through an extra screen now verifying that I'm about to view adult content.

  4. Fanny, I've always thought the teeny weeny in that picture was funny but CD said it so very well!

    Xflies, uh oh, are you one of the few that knows my secret identity?

    Brandi, my nosy daughter mentioned reading a blog that I read occasionally and I got all paranoid but instead of locking mine down I put on the adult content warning. She will NEVER click through that.

  5. JZ, haha no I dont know your secret identity (did I just write titty!!) Man I have a short attention span! That's funny about your daughter, good thinkin with the adult content! My daughter and I just started a blog and we are so freakin paranoid about someone finding out! We even pinky swore not to tell a soul (a soul we know!) about it! We love your blog!

  6. JZ, I'm also glad you're not a short guy with a big dick. Many short guys tend to BE big dicks and having one does not seem to be a prerequisite.

    I am fascinated by the fact that so many men associate their sense identity with such a relatively small and vulnerable member of their person. I mean if it was really a brass rod 100% of the time that would be one thing. But most of the time it just sits there and looks lonely and sad.