Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm baaaaack...

It's a long-ass drive to Reno.  And your ass is feeling long by the time you get there.  Wendover...Elko... Winnemucca...Lovelock...  But throw a couple of wild friends in the car with you and the time goes pretty fast.

Here are some snapshots of random events of the trip, farted in no particular order.

The Hat

This is "Stella" wearing the magic hat.  (Secret identity mask added to protect her anonymity.)  Whoever wore it got carded.  I never wore it.  I never got carded.  I wish I looked better in hats.

The Booze

The first order of business was to shop for booze and mixers and set up a bar in the room.  I don't trust vodka in a plastic bottle so we didn't buy this but I loved the label.  Yes, I do worship vodka.  And whipped cream vodka really does taste like whipped cream.  And I still don't like beer, not even the imported stuff like Stella Artois.  "Stella", above, was getting her groove on with that shit all weekend.

The Sex Store

You know you're not in a Utah sex store when there's a porn video playing on a big screen TV.  It was the first time I've seen porn and, I must say, I was rather disappointed.  It looked more like an instructional video.  Do this, put that leg over here and do that, turn this way, try that.  Really didn't do much for me at all.  Then I noticed the hallway with what looked like dressing room doors.  Odd.  I hadn't seen any clothes for sale.  Oh!  Ewwwwwwww!  I would NOT want to be the one that has to clean that store.  *shudder*

The City

 We stayed at a slightly skanky place on the old strip.  (It was booked online because of the very low price.)  But once we got off the strip and into the other parts of the city it was beautiful!  There is a river running right through town that people were kayaking on!  The whole area is surrounded by gorgeous mountains and green valleys.  I fell in love a little bit.  I want one of those apartments with the balconies that overlook the park.

The Awesomest Waiter Ever

Ryan works at a diner on the strip.  He can pop the top off a beer bottle with only a cheap, plastic lighter.  He is a former alcoholic and meth addict who has been clean and sober for three years.  I can't imagine being a recovering alcoholic and working around booze all day.  It would be like me swearing off donuts and working in a bakery.  He was also incredibly friendly and anticipated our every need.  We tipped him very, very well.

The Reason We Were There in the First Place

We were there to watch a volleyball tournament.  And this sign would have been funnier if it had been guys playing instead of girls.

There was a sea of thighs everywhere you looked.  Seriously.  There were hundreds, maybe thousands, of volleyball players there with young, firm thighs.  It was a constant reminder that my thighs have long since lost any youth or firmness they once possessed. 

The Second Most Awesome Waiter Ever

Our first night there we went to a random pizza place to grab dinner.  When the waiter found out we were from Utah he told us he was raised Mormon and was sealed to his parents but preferred chasing booze and skirts.  He taught Social Studies at a high school during the day and so was able to tell us all about Nevada history, throwing in a few jokes along the way.   

 Most random event of the trip:

Stopping in Elko for gas and seeing my brother-in-law and nephew.  This is the dude that is married to my oldest sister-- the one I cut off contact with several years ago because I'd had enough of her controlling and manipulative behavior.  And here was her lackey/husband in the wilds of Nevada.  I'm pretty sure they heard us talking about booze and noticed my lack of wedding ring.  I can  feel the rumblings of the family rumor mill starting up...

All in all, a very successful trip.  Though I gained at least five pounds from the alcohol alone. 


  1. Sounds like fun. YOU girls are the bad girls!! Can I come with yous to the next Reno trip? I'll sleep on the floor. ;)

  2. What an awesome trip! Being around your own friends doing these fun things is the icing on the cake. Not that BGW-Vegas wasn't fun, but still... you know what I mean ;-)

    You'll need at least a week of sobriety after this... Glad you had a great trip!

  3. I love me some Stella Artois. Too bad beer is so fattening. Makes me wish I was back in my 20's when I could eat/drink anything with no jiggly consequence. Damn cult.

    Reno is a long-ass drive and a rather boring one at that. Glad you had a good time.

    P.S. If you're interested Baja Bobs is a pretty good margarita mixer. No carbs or sugar. I'm going to order some so I can mix margaritas this summer. Nothing beats a salt-on-the-rim margarita on a hot day after a good hike.

  4. Tex--I guess we are bad. But it was sure a lot of fun. You are more than welcome to come anytime! We set up an incredible bar.

    Fanny--I go weeks at a time without having a drink at all so maybe I'll have this vodka roll off by the time I get to have another drink. I wish alcohol didn't have calories.

    CD--I will check out the Baja Bobs. I know Harmon's and Bed, Bath and Beyond have sugar-free mixers but some haven't been very yummy. I'm going carb-free again and need some really good mixers.

  5. Let me know if you need a live-in bartender for your next trip...

  6. Frito, you know you're always welcome. Always.