Friday, December 31, 2010

Sloth and Gluttony's excellent adventures

I admit it.  I have been wallowing.  My primary form of exercise has been shoveling food into my mouth in an attempt to make myself feel better.  But shockingly, it hasn't worked.  At this time last year I was much lighter and much happier with the way I looked and felt.  I felt like 15 years had been lifted from me and it showed in my attitude, energy level and number of chins.  I was also pretty much carb free.  Even on the rare occasions I drank, I would eschew the sugar and go with a vodka and tonic or something similar.  But a nibble of pizza crust here, a bite of cake there and BAM!    I discovered Buttery Nipples, Sex on the Beach, AMFs, White Russians, Long Island Ice Tea, Hard Lemonade, Hot Buttered Rum, Margaritas of all kinds...and of course the munchies to go with them, both sweet and savory.  Soon I was eating pie for breakfast.  And buying larger clothes.  Oh, hell.   Now my comfy thongs feel like someone's given me an atomic wedgie.  It's pretty sad when you grow out of your underwear.  Even worse, my favorite jammies (voted the world's ugliest by all who see them) are tight.  Lethally tight. 

So the time has come.  I need to eat more healthy stir-fry and get more exercise with my dogs.  Maybe I can combine the two.  You know, multi task. 


  1. hahaha! oh my unicorn! I love you! I'm having the same carb-overloaded underpants problem. You make me laugh; Happy New Year!

  2. Here's to a carb-and-fat-free New Year!

  3. First, that sloth is absolutely adorable. Second, that is a VERY patient dog!