Sunday, November 20, 2011

Retell hell--Yewtah style

I've lived in Utah long enough to have acquired some of the vernacular but sometimes I get thrown a WTF curveball while working retail. Like the woman who asked where the "laygins" were. I looked blank and she explained.  "You know, those things the girls wear under their dresses." Oh, of course. Leggings! I get several laygin requests each week but now I know what they are. Because a good Utah mormon can't have too many layers under her knee-length shirt.

Yesterday a man came in to the store looking for "the $20 coat". His wife had sent him with these far-from-explicit instructions, apparently expecting there to be a rack near the door with an arrow and a huge flashing sign "$20 COATS". When  no such rack was to be seen, he was clueless and asked for help. I politely grilled him for any shred of helpful information. Was he looking for men's coats? Women's? Girl's? Boy's? Infant's? Lightweight? Heavyweight? Zipper, buttons, hood? He didn't have a clue and his wife wasn't answering her phone. He finally told me it was for a humanitarian project (to be sent overseas to the destitute) so it might not matter about the size, color or sex. I showed him numerous coats priced around $20 but he was hesistant to choose any of them. I guess he was waiting for a sign from god to guide him to the mythical coat. As a last resort, I got the current store ad and combed it for anything that was priced at $20. The only item was a woman's fleece-lined hoodie and I led him over to the rack. "That's not really a coat, is it?" was the only response I got from him. Holy hell and brains for breakfast! It's a good thing the store's phone rang or I might have been tempted to bitch slap him.

It's gonna be a looooong holiday season.

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