Sunday, March 25, 2012

Shite by Beck

“Female roles did not begin on earth, and they do not end here. A woman who treasures motherhood on earth will treasure motherhood in the world to come, and ‘where [her] treasure is, there will [her] heart be also’ (Matthew 6:21). By developing a mother heart, each girl and woman prepares for her divine, eternal mission of motherhood.”
-Julie B. Beck

If you don't enjoy being a mother now, well, too bad! You're going to be one FOREVER! Bwahahahaha!

My daughters listened to this type of thing last night at the general Young Women's meeting. (Did I get that right? I'm losing my mo-lingo.) Not this particular quote, which was made previously, but stuff just like it. It fills me with rage. My gorgeous daughters are talented and full of life, energy and dreams. I want them to reach for the stars and grasp them! But what chance do they have if they are not given a choice because rhetoric like this has been force fed them since infancy? Instead they'll become bitter, middle-aged women who have no skills or career beyond homemaking and baby-birthing. (Oh wait, that's me!)

But seriously, is there a quote telling boys that fatherhood is their divine, eternal mission? Hell no! Men are encouraged to get an education and build careers. Make money and babies in this life so you can become gods in the next life with lots of wives to create lots more kids!

Well, fuck that shite. I'm going to continue to help my girls stretch their limits and reach for the stars. You want to try out for that play? Go for it! I'll help you run lines and drive you around. You want to break up with that guy because he's getting too serious and you're not ready for that? I'll listen to you cry and whine all you need to, then make you pick yourself up and go on without him. You are more than just a uterus, fit for wiping up spit and changing diapers. If you want to do that later in life, go ahead! But first know yourself, explore your options and have some grand experiences. Simply live!

Inthenameofcheeseandrice, ramen.


  1. I agree. This BS that is constantly fed to young Mormon girls is so harmful on so many levels. It's poison to the self-esteem dressed up in pretty euphemisms, like shit wrapped up in gold wrapping paper. It makes me sick, especially because young people don't have the life experience, the confidence, or the insights to see through it, and the church knows it. Assholes.

    Your girls are lucky to have you, Zena. Regardless of what they buy into now, you will have a liberating influence on them.

    1. CD, I really hope you're right. It did work with your daughter!

  2. Zena, I miss you!!! I haven't been able to post comments for a while (stupid computer), but I think hopefully this one will post.

    I'm kinda in your same situation. Got beautiful young daughters that think getting married is their next goal, besides going on missions...

    Except my oldest, 27, divorced, lives in NYC, going to Scotland to finish her degree and openly vows never to walk down the aisle again, no matter who she's with. Amazing that getting out of Utah and mingling among real people can change an attitude. Besides, I've never seen her HAPPIER.

    1. Barb, I miss you too! And wasn't it just a few years ago that your oldest daughter was extreme TBM? And look at her now! Awesome! She's got her life ahead of her and she's old enough to know what she wants and but young enough to still be able to go out and get it. There's hope for your other daughters yet!

  3. This stuff makes me crazy angry... And I don't even have daughters to worry about. I have a sister, and if I had left the church while she was still in YW, I would have had regular fits. Instead I was her YW leader and I taught her this stuff. (oh the shame!)

    Luckily, she's got a good head on her shoulders, and although she's still very much in the church, she's also working really hard to become a nurse and to take care of herself.