Last night I was sitting alone staring at the naked Christmas tree, listening to music and having a nice, stiff drink. One dog was farting and the smell wafted gently through the room. ( I have GOT to get that pine candle.) The other dog was noisily licking himself and obviously enjoying it. A Coldplay song came on. And I liked it.
As I remember this scene in the cold light of day, I find it disturbing. Not because of my farting dog. (She's getting up in years and farts all the time. It reminds me of my mom and I find it kind of comforting.) It wasn't because I was drinking alone. Again. And it wasn't because I should have been decorating the tree but wasn't.
No, the disturbing thing was that I enjoyed listening to a Coldplay song. This isn't me. I prefer the growling of Breaking Benjamin, the clamor of NIN, the whine of Evanescence and screaming along with Psychostick. Am I mellowing out? Losing my anger? Acting my age?! Will I start wearing my reading glasses on a thing around my neck now?! That last thought scares the shit out of me.
Behold my future. It's not pretty.