Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Finding my patronus

I haven't blogged much lately but I've been reading lots of them.  Recently, both Cognitive Dissenter and Kiley had posts that touched on the topic of toxic people.  (I could link to those but I'm just too darn lazy and tired. Find them yourself if you want to read them.) I have a sister that I cut out of my life five years ago because she is toxic.  I've seen her once since then and life has been good.  Peaceful, at least.  But all good things have to come to an end sometime.

My elderly mother has been very ill and the six sisters in the family need to work together to make decisions about her care.  This toxic sister, being a control freak, has legal power of attorney (acquired without any other sister's knowledge). She has stirred up my mother, my sisters, and anyone else she can.  She's stirred me up and I haven't actually seen her.  Simply hearing about her exploits is enough to get my drawers in a wad and make my stomach cramp. 

My youngest sister was mulling over the situation and came to the conclusion that this toxic sister is a banshee. We are into supernatural literature (okay, that's not a real term but that's what I call it) and in one particular series by Kim Harrison, banshees feed on emotion.  They stir up trouble in order to feed on the heightened emotions of humans or they will starve.  Or, in a term you might be more familiar with, she is a dementor.  Those evil, soul-sucking monsters in the Harry Potter series.  Merely being in the proximity of a dementor will suck all the happiness out of you until you're a hollow shell of a person. 

If you have a toxic person in your life, I know you will be able to relate. Being the non-confrontational wimp that I am, I prefer the avoidance technique of dealing.  BUT. There is a meeting of the sisters this week that I cannot avoid.  I have to face down the dementor.  But first I have to find my patronus.


  1. I can only imagine what your wand must look like. Good luck.

  2. When you find it I want your secret. Life would be so much nicer if we never had to deal with these toxic types. You can give 'em hell, prove them wrong, etc. etc., and they still won't shut the hell up. Summoning your patronus is the perfect metaphor. Too bad we can't simply click "delete."

  3. Good luck! And I'm with CD - if you figure out how, share the secret.

    I've always been a good little mediator, and can keep calm when no one else can... but there are some people that refuse to be calm no matter what.