Friday, April 8, 2011
World's largest doormat wants to grow a pair...of...something or other
When I was growing up it was to keep mom happy or dinner would be dripping down the dining room wall before we could eat it. If mom wasn't happy, nobody was safe.
And I was taught at church that I was only a woman. The man held the priesthood. He was the head and I was to defer to him. First my dad, then my husband. 'Cause Eve doesn't speak. She just shuts up and goes along with things.
So is it any wonder I have trouble standing up for myself now? For whatever reason, I am a pleaser. I want people to like me. I feel I really don't deserve anything better than what I'm given. And I'm just a woman and can't be trusted to know what's best for me. It all adds up to a "kick me" sign on my back.
Well, not anymore! I'm going to find that fine line between doormat and complete-bitch-that-no-one-can-stand-to-be-around.
So I'm going to start saying things like:
No, I can't take your shift. I need a night off too. And I deserve one.
I didn't dirty these dishes so I'm not going to spend my precious time off washing them. Learn to clean up after yourself.
If you want to go back to college, you find a job and pay your own way. It doesn't mean I don't love you.
While I'm flattered by the attention, I don't feel the same and don't want to pursue a relationship.
I really don't want to sleep on the floor and I don't think I should have to.
And the big one will be:
I deserve happines and respect and I'm going off to find it. Goodbye.
This is going to take a lot of practice.