I don't give a rats ass about the royal wedding. I don't care where Kate spent the night before or what her dress looks like or how the groom combed his thinning head of hair! I just want to safely watch TV and get on the internet without hearing about the boring-ass details! Gah!
"Stella" is throwing a royal wedding party tonight to watch the highlights. I'll go-- but just for the booze. I'm going to wear a big, ugly-ass hat
and drink with my pinky out. (But NO warm beer. Ugh.) Maybe we'll have some real British food like Bangers and Mash or Toad in the Hole.
Those Brits may seem stodgy but they sure do have some erotic food. Or maybe it's just been too long since my bangers were mashed...