Thursday, November 11, 2010

Shart people

Yes, I meant shart.  I have to keep the whole gaseous theme going and it sounds like a rural Utahn pronounces it.

So today a rude, rude woman made a right turn and pulled right in front of me as I was going 65 down the highway.  (No, I was not speeding.)  As I yelled obscenities she could not hear and waved my middle finger so she would see it, I was reminded that short people really bother me.  Now, I have short friends and I know some incredibly awesome short people that I like very much.  As long as I don't have to walk behind them.  I was born with LEGS and I use them.  When I walk, I walk with a purpose.  I kick them out and go!  Nothing brings out the bitch in me like being trapped behind a short, slow walker.  Which brings me to pants.  If I can find pants with a 36" inseam, anyone can find pants that don't flap around their cankles.  Gawd!  Um, if any short people area reading this, it's nothing personal.

I'm done.  The bitch has left the building.  Temporarily.


  1. Oh my gawd! Did you hate trying to get around the groups of people socializing and obliviously blocking the exits when you and 500 other people were trying to get out of church? It made me crazy! It's like, "Um, Brother Smith, could you please move your conversation somewhere else. You know, away from the FUCKING DOOR!"

    I'm so glad to know this stuff makes you nuts in the same way it makes me nuts. My daughter and I get so irritated by slow walkers and blocking-the-exits-socializers we've actually turned getting around these people into our own sick little game.

  2. That's awesome! I love sick little games. I'll have to come up with one of my own... heheheh.

  3. How tall are you? I am short 5'4-3/4", but I walk fast. I walk with a purpose. I can keep up!

  4. I'm 6'2" and few people have legs the length of mine. If you can keep up, come walk with me!