Friday, September 23, 2011

Loin girding for dummies

Lately I have been waking up every damn morning with lines from that stupid hymn going through my brain.

"Gird up your loins,
Fresh courage take..."

Over and over.

Yes, the days have been exhausting and sometimes tough to get through. But I've always HATED this hymn and especially these particular lines. I mean, how do you gird your loins? Because, frankly, I can think of way more fun-sounding things to do with my loins than girding. (Though my loins currently have cobwebs and are feeling a bit desperate.) But I suppose this is just my Molly Mormon subconscious' way of telling me to pull up my big girl panties and deal.

So each morning after I roll my ass out of bed and grab some coffee, I pick from my plethora of pretty panties, find a matching bra, and march into my day, my loins girded with silky fabric and lace (and sometimes bows). Because if a girl's got to gird, she may as well gird with gusto.


  1. JZ, great take on the hymn. I've always hated that one because I've heard that phrase flung at so many hurting Mormons by their leaders. I remember a bishop telling a bi-polar kid to "gird his loins" (as a prescription for his disease.) Same scenario involving a gay kid. What does it mean anyway? Pull up your pants. -- So yes they should be lacy, cute, and black, or maybe hot pink. : )

  2. I like the expression, actually. I've always found that nothing motivates me like obscure anachronistic idioms.

    Anyway, since back in Biblical times and in the imaginary Book of Mormon world everybody -- male and female -- wore skirts, I think it actually means something more like "Hitch up your skirt."

    Which I find doubly motivating as an obscure anachronistic idiom that refers to an article of clothing that I never wear.

  3. You know what we should do? We should collaborate on an exmo dictionary of terms and phrases and come up with our own definitions.

    i.e., "Wickedness never was happiness: A lie. A. Mother. Fucking. Lie."

    "Gird up your loins: Toss the Jesus Jammies and bring your sexy back."

  4. Donna, that is the WORST definition of the phrase but you hear it all too often in the church.

    Kuri, I always thought this phrase appealed more to men, for whatever reason. And in the mormon culture hitching up your skirts would be considered extremely immodest!

    CD, I agree with Tex, that's perfect! And what we could do to "put your shoulder to the wheel"...and so many others.