Wednesday, September 14, 2011

If corduroy pants rub together in the forest with no one to hear, do they make a sound?

I've heard that corduroy pants are "in".  If that's the case, then why am I the old one scritching through the day?  I'd forgotten how noisy cords were.  If you want to walk quietly in them, you have to bow your legs slightly like you've just gotten off your horse after a long ride through the prairie. You'd think technology would have advanced enough by now to make noiseless corduroys!

I didn't buy these pants to be in style. I bought because they were LONG! I've never been able to be picky when it comes to buying pants.  If I pull on a pair in a store and they cover my ankles I buy them!  Who cares what they make my ass look like! And in the rare instance I find a pair that actually DRAG ON THE GROUND I snap them up faster than a dog on a jerky treat.  For decades I've been air drying my pants (especially jeans) because even the slightest shrinkage will cause them to look like the proverbial flood pants. I've even been reduced to stretching them while wet for extra lengthage.

When I found these cords with a 38" inseam for $8 I grabbed them in two colors.  I throw them in the dryer with abandon and they still DRAG ON THE GROUND! (Forgive all the caps, I'm just so excited.) Now I just have to figure out how to walk gracefully in them without warning the world I'm coming. Because, you know, the height and red hair are probably enough.


  1. Finding pants that fit is reason for celebration! And in answer to your question, yes they will make a sound, even the forest.

  2. Pants that fit for $8? That's what I call a no-brainer.

  3. Donna, you're right! I need to celebrate with a drink! If I get drunk enough I won't hear the scritching.

    CD, it's more like a damn miracle.