New schmoo...

The New Beginnings program.  What the hell is it?  Someone asked me that recently and I had to stop and think.  I've been a Young Woman (long, long ago) and served in Young Womens but still had no clue what it was about.  I do remember one when I was twelve.  I wore a hideous yellow gingham maxi dress (which for some reason is the only dress my mother saved from my early life) and received my first, awkward short-person hug from my YW leader.  I still do not enjoy a hug from someone who's face hits my chest area. I remember the song we had to sing:

New beginnnnnnings
Are tay-yay-king hold of me...
Yesterday's dreams
Are but-ter-flies...

I searched the internet high and low for a video of this masterpiece but it seems to have faded into obscurity sometime in the past 30-some years.  (Good riddance to insipid rubbish.)  But I do not recall the purpose of that particular meeting.

My daughter had her New Beginnings program recently and really wanted me to come as she was performing a musical number.  Since I wasn't scheduled to work, I searched through my closet for a skirt and dug out the ol' church shoes and dusted them off.  While I love dresses, I do not enjoy church dresses so I wore my push up bra and a thong to diminish the nun-like feeling.

It's a good thing my daughter performed at the beginning of the program because the church-induced narcolepsy set in. As soon as the lights went down for a video presentation, I was completely out.  Through years of diligent practice I was able to stay upright and not drool or snore.  I roused briefly to hear the bishop say, "the purpose of the gospel is to bring our family members to Christ."  "Except the gay ones..." flitted through my brain and I was out again.

After my nice nap and the program both ended, I was swarmed by a few of the other women in attendance.  "Oh, Zena, I haven't seen you in forever!!  How's your family?!"   These were women I had never even associated with outside of church activites.  I pasted on a smile and tried not to drown in the saccharin sweetness.  As I finally got the hell out of there and was walking home I realized I still had no idea what the New Beginnings program was for.