Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Are tay-yay-king hold of me...
I searched the internet high and low for a video of this masterpiece but it seems to have faded into obscurity sometime in the past 30-some years. (Good riddance to insipid rubbish.) But I do not recall the purpose of that particular meeting.
My daughter had her New Beginnings program recently and really wanted me to come as she was performing a musical number. Since I wasn't scheduled to work, I searched through my closet for a skirt and dug out the ol' church shoes and dusted them off. While I love dresses, I do not enjoy church dresses so I wore my push up bra and a thong to diminish the nun-like feeling.
It's a good thing my daughter performed at the beginning of the program because the church-induced narcolepsy set in. As soon as the lights went down for a video presentation, I was completely out. Through years of diligent practice I was able to stay upright and not drool or snore. I roused briefly to hear the bishop say, "the purpose of the gospel is to bring our family members to Christ." "Except the gay ones..." flitted through my brain and I was out again.
After my nice nap and the program both ended, I was swarmed by a few of the other women in attendance. "Oh, Zena, I haven't seen you in forever!! How's your family?!" These were women I had never even associated with outside of church activites. I pasted on a smile and tried not to drown in the saccharin sweetness. As I finally got the hell out of there and was walking home I realized I still had no idea what the New Beginnings program was for.