Saturday, April 7, 2012

Well, that was a fast mourning period...

My trusty old laptop passed away this week. I didn't see it coming. One morning he was just...gone. I couldn't turn him on at all. (Kind of like the hubs.) He'd had close brushes with death before but I'd managed to pull him through. This time, though, he was really and truly gone and I didn't resort to fruitless heroic measures. As I cradled his dead carcass in my arms, I cried, "Oh fuck! What am I going to do now?! I need a computer!"

This cry was repeated to my baby sis and a miracle happened. Several days later a box arrived on my porch. As I opened it, my jaw dropped and I sat in stunned horror. I had asked for her old laptop but instead she had sent me...a new one. The first virgin laptop I have ever owned. And it's beautiful! Sleek and slim, it's like wearing petite-size pants after shopping for years at Lane Bryant. And this morning when I had the urge to blog I was about to get up and head for the couch in the living room where my old laptop sat (constantly plugged in to the wall because the battery wouldn't hold a charge) and then I realized I COULD JUST LAY IN BED AND USE MY LAPTOP WITH NO CORD! A real portable laptop! I could even take it to the bathroom with me! I could take it places like Starbucks and be a hipster blogger with coffee! I could take it to Starbucks bathroom! My world is suddenly bursting with possibilities! Like using  lots of caps and exclamation points! And it has all of it's keys! I have an "E" again!

And then I felt like a cheap slut. My old laptop had taken me through so much, how could I replace him so easily?! He gave me his all till he had nothing left to give. Meh. Easy come, easy go. I'll make sure he has a proper burial.


  1. "Kind of like the hubs" You are hilarious. Have fun with the new toy!

  2. You know it's time to send the old guy out to pasture when you get more satisfaction from a sleek electronic with a super fast browser and a battery life long enough to take you to heaven at least 3 times before it needs recharging ...