Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Snorting at the devil

I used to be scared of the dark. No, make that petrified. I was scared of what might be lurking. Ghosts, demons, who knew what? I knew Satan was out to get me. All those stories I heard at church about what had happened to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove. The stories of missionaries visited by demons that made objects go flying across the room. The church is rife with those tales and I took them to heart and let them scare the bejeezus out of me.

I slept with a blanket over my head for decades. Only my nose stuck out so I wouldn't suffocate. Growing up in a hot climate, this could be excruciatingly sweaty but it was the only way I could protect myself as I slept! Even after I was an adult and married, I slept this way for years. I also had to have a nightlight on. (This bugged the hell out of the hubs because he likes to sleep in the pitch darkness. That was one of the many reasons he gave for moving into his own room years ago.)

Something gradually shifted as I aged and felt bigger and badder than anything I might encounter in the dark. But the fear never really went away until the last few years. As I lost my faith in god, my faith in the devil pretty much left me too. What I didn't believe in certainly couldn't hurt me. (I keep the nightlight on now simply because I don't like to pee in the dark and turning the light on is blinding.)

So it was odd that last night I had a very, very vivid dream.  There was a cold chill in the air and a dark substance in the corner of a strange room.  The substance turned into the form of a woman who slowly moved toward me and reached out to shove darkness down my throat.  I was paralyzed as she pushed into my open mouth for what seemed like hours.  I couldn't move, couldn't cry out for help.  fI was completely helpless. Until I did what any reasonable person having a nightmare would do. I snorted. Loud and long. And it worked! I woke up. (With a very sore throat from the snorting.) But I was safe in my room where nothing lurked in the corners. It was just a dream.

But now I'm wondering where in the hell this dream came from. Since I know this wasn't caused by some kind of real demonic possession sort of thing, I'm trying to figure out what my subconscious mind is trying to tell me.  Or perhaps it was just one of those random brain farts. I certainly won't lose any more sleep over it.


  1. That's scary. Maybe sleep apnea?

  2. When you figure it out, I'd like to hear your interpretation.

    The scariest dream I've ever had was similar and about 2 years ago. I think I blogged about it. In the dream I was asleep in my bed, then opened my eyes to see a woman dressed in her Mormon temple clothes approaching my bedside. The room was dark except for the moonlight coming in through the window. She stood above me then slowly reached toward me. I screamed, blood-curdling, bloody murder.

    My scream woke me up and my heart was pounding. Never screamed like that before or since, and like you, my throat hurt. Didn't even know I had it in me. I lived in a condo and was sure one of my neighbors would call the police (they didn't). The dream felt so real I had to get out of bed, turn on every light, and check every closet. Creepiest dream ever.