Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Snorting at the devil
I used to be scared of the dark. No, make that petrified. I was scared of what might be lurking. Ghosts, demons, who knew what? I knew Satan was out to get me. All those stories I heard at church about what had happened to Joseph Smith in the Sacred Grove. The stories of missionaries visited by demons that made objects go flying across the room. The church is rife with those tales and I took them to heart and let them scare the bejeezus out of me.
Something gradually shifted as I aged and felt bigger and badder than anything I might encounter in the dark. But the fear never really went away until the last few years. As I lost my faith in god, my faith in the devil pretty much left me too. What I didn't believe in certainly couldn't hurt me. (I keep the nightlight on now simply because I don't like to pee in the dark and turning the light on is blinding.)
So it was odd that last night I had a very, very vivid dream. There was a cold chill in the air and a dark substance in the corner of a strange room. The substance turned into the form of a woman who slowly moved toward me and reached out to shove darkness down my throat. I was paralyzed as she pushed into my open mouth for what seemed like hours. I couldn't move, couldn't cry out for help. fI was completely helpless. Until I did what any reasonable person having a nightmare would do. I snorted. Loud and long. And it worked! I woke up. (With a very sore throat from the snorting.) But I was safe in my room where nothing lurked in the corners. It was just a dream.
But now I'm wondering where in the hell this dream came from. Since I know this wasn't caused by some kind of real demonic possession sort of thing, I'm trying to figure out what my subconscious mind is trying to tell me. Or perhaps it was just one of those random brain farts. I certainly won't lose any more sleep over it.