Friday, April 1, 2011

Privacy to fart

I have to have privacy to blog.  I simply can't do it in front of people.  I can't concentrate.  It's too embarrassing.  I have to have a bit of alone time before I can just relax and let it blow.  So I've been keeping it all inside and in the past couple of weeks I have bloated to an enormous size.  (Though a small portion can be attributed to all the food and booze in Vegas.) 

Alone time has been scarce.  I'm either working or sleeping or the house is full.  Or a combination of them. (Working and sleeping at the same time is especially hard but sometimes I manage it.)  But this evening Nosy and her dad went to the temple.  Yes, they righteously toddled off to the temple for dinner and a movie and left the godless heathen mommy at home by herself.  (With a Schmirnoff Ice hidden under my bed right next to my vibrator.)

But the gas is suddenly gone.  Vanished.  WTF.  What happened to the all the righteous indignation?  The snark?  The pissyness?  The impending dread of conference weekend and being trapped in the house with the monotonous sound of voices blaring from every speaker we own?  It's all gone.  Gone with the wind.  And now they are home.  And the bloat begins again.


  1. It's amazing how that bloated feeling disappears when the source goes away. Like Beano (or so I imagine).

    P.S. I can hear those blaring sing-songy voices yammering at you from every speaker in the house. The thought is enough to make me want to hit something. My thoughts are with you, JZ. May you find some peace and good company this weekend and much deserved reprieve.

  2. I'm starting to feel bloated too... but instead of watching this time, we're helping a friend with a hot tub moving project. Much more satisfaction in that!

    JZ, if you ever feel the need to release your gas, give me a jingle and we can have our own temple session... maybe at Piper Down with a beer or two.

  3. CD, the blare has started. At least I can escape one session because of work.

    Fanny, next time you're up here, let me know! I've been wanting to go to Piper Down for a while. And I cannot wait for BGW Utah.