Monday, February 7, 2011

I buy my spirits at the state liquor store

I was peacefully going along with my day, working through my tasks, when out of nowhere it hit me.  WHAM!  The cold chill of foreboding.  Something was wrong. It had been a long time since I'd felt this.  The spirit was warning me. As the chill spread and clutched at my heart I knew something horrible had happened.  It must be my oldest daughter.  I had talked to her earlier and she'd been on my mind.  It MUST be her.  An accident maybe?  She'd been depressed so maybe she'd had a complete breakdown.  What could it be?  Should I call her?  Call her brother to check on her?

The chill spread to my lungs, numbness shot down my arms and legs.  I was almost engulfed in the feeling, frozen in place, a mere breath from passing out.  But finally a tiny prick of sanity broke through.  This was not the spirit of anything. I breathed slow and deep and pushed against the rising panic.  Because I can now recognize it for what it is.  A panic attack.

1 comment:

  1. Funny how realizing there is no such thing as "the Spirit" calms anxiety.