My dog sleeps on my bedroom floor at night. She snores softly but I find it soothing. What I do not find soothing is when she gets a gas attack. Last night she was continually leaking noxious fumes that permeated my room and crept into my dreams. It reminded me of the saying, "Kids are like farts. You can really only tolerate your own." Okay, I stole that from Coffee Blogger who stole it from someone else. But it's still very true. I'm girding up my loins to face other people's screaming children and crying babies all day and into the night.
In the sprit of Christmas I bring you an original song by the musically gifted Coffee Blogger, used without her permission.
Oh Farting Dog (sung to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree)
Oh farting dog, oh farting dog
I know you have just dropped a log
I don't know why you spread your stench
In here with such malificence
Oh farting dog, oh farting dogI know you have just dropped a log
Out there is where the stench should stay
In here it just won't fade away
Oh farting dog, oh farting dog
Why can't you just go drop a log.
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JZ, I feel your pain! I hope you can hold onto your sanity with both hands today and night.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Also love the cartoon.
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me ... Did you hear about the old guy who told his doctor that every time he had to get up during the night and pee, God turned the bathroom light on for him? Later when the doctor mentioned this cool fact to the old guy's wife she said in disgust, "Oh gawd. He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"
Donna, coffee makes everything tolerable. Especially if it has expresso.
ReplyDeleteCD, I have to remember that joke! I love it!
I was particularly inspired with those lyrics. I even managed to use some big words! We changed her food and it's much better. Now I have a farting kid in the car and it's Christmas, so....
ReplyDeleteOh the weather outside is frightful
And the car is not delightful
Since we've no place to go
When the 4 year old let's one blow.
Oh, good one! But everything's better in Hawaii.
ReplyDelete