So apparently the higher-education officials in Zionland couldn't figure out why more Utah women don't finish college. I can't even fathom what rock they must have just crawled out from under to not know this. So a survey was taken of 245 women, 80% of them Mormon. Surprise! The study found that "many Mormon girls are encouraged to go to college but not necessarily to finish." Duh, they're encouraged to go to college and find a man. The sheer number of "date and find a mate" activities my children are subjected to at the Lard's University is staggering. If only they put that emphasis on studying and obtaining a degree!!
It goes on to say "Some survey participants said they saw no urgency to graduate, believing they would finish "someday." Others said that starting a family trumped college, and getting married ended their education." One Fast Sunday in my married student ward long, long ago, the bshop got up and actually said that the number of babies blessed that day was too low! The rest of us needed to get busy! I think there were at least five blessed. Maybe more. It was interminable. No encouragement from the pulpit to finish their education first.
"LDS young women get it that it's important to go to college. That's not the problem," The study goes on. "They don't see options. They do not see that one evening a week they could go to class and their husband could watch the kids. It's all or nothing." This idea seems very reasonable, doesn't it? Of course it depends on getting a husband who is supportive of his wife's education as well. AND willing to watch his own children. AND if the woman isn't overburdened with church callings and post-partum depression. AND the money can be scraped up to spend on somthing so frivolous. It's a crap shoot and the odds are not in the women's favor.
To significantly raise the number of women with degrees in Utah, the entire cultural mind-set needs to change. I'll do my small part by encouraging my daughters to make the most of their minds and opportunities. THIS is the best time in their lives for them to do that. They have the rest of their lives to get married and have children. And they have me, a great example of what happens when a woman doesn't get that education.
Here is the link to the article but since I'm technologically challanged I'm not even sure it will work:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700081296/For-many-Utah-women-family-trumps-college-study-shows.html.
From the time they are little girls, Mormon women are consistently indoctrinated with the belief that their only purpose is to be wives and mothers. Moreover, they are warned that fulfilling those "divine" roles properly will be their only source of joy. And then the local culture acts all surprised about the results of this survey? Classic head-in-the-ass thinking.
ReplyDeleteYour daughters are lucky to have a mother who encourages them to be their own people rather than some cookie cutter image of amazing uterine capabilities.
I encourage them but I didn't set the good example. Instead I'm the "dire warning". Don't be like mom!
ReplyDeleteWhile I do get what you're saying, RF, I'm afraid I have to respectfully disagree. I think what you are teaching your daughters is to think for themselves -- which is exactly what separates you from the predominant culture. There are 101 ways to get an education and getting a college degree is far from the only -- or even the best -- option. I have a doctorate degree and I'm still trying to educate myself. It's a life-long process that is one new adventure after another.
ReplyDeleteThe best-educated people, the deepest thinkers, are self-taught, college educated or otherwise. You are leaps and bounds ahead of many many many college educated people, RF.
I remember when my oldest daughter was 5 or 6 she decided that she didn't want to have kids. She wanted to have a career, be married, and adopt teenagers. I remember being annoyed that she didn't want to get married and have kids in her early 20's. I remember giving her 'permission' to change her mind. I said something to the effect of, "It's ok if you change your mind later in life. you don't have to commit to this decision now." Almost 10 years later, she still has the same plan. I don't feel rejected by her decision anymore. I have discovered that I am more than just someone's mother.
ReplyDeleteSo are you, RF
thank you both for your kind words and encouragement. If only I'd heard that kind of thing in RS...
ReplyDeleteTex, as much as I'd like grandkids, I wouldn't mind if my girls decided not to have kids. As long as they are doing something they love and are happy and independent, I'll be happy for them. They just need to know they have a choice and whatever they choose is okay!
I have a daughter who has been married 6 years and instead of having babies right away, she decided to finish her schooling. She's currently working on her Master's degree and her marriage is on the rocks. If she would've had kids right away, she wouldn't be able to finish her education. And I know if she gets divorced, she knows she'll be ok with a career that can support herself.
ReplyDeleteUnlike how the church teaches to get married, have babies right away and be subservient to your husband. No wonder the majority of LDS women are on anti-depressants, with low self-esteem, and feel trapped in a loveless marriage because they know they can't support themselves.
I like your blog! I need to get my DH over here to read it. I think he would be turned on by the "Random Fartings" title. (total guy thing) If you're interested, here's his blog:
www.celestialrodeo.blogspot.com
Fanny, I like how your daughter thinks! It's the smart way to do it. I am the exact woman described in your second paragraph and I DO NOT want my daughters to get caught in the same trap. Yeah, farting is a total guy thing but it there is a story behind it too. I'm really glad you stopped by!
ReplyDelete